Trading Blue Light for Sunlight

 We will make 

I wonder if memory is dying.  I study well for tests and school but, in my own personal life I keep remembering habits that I've long since fallen out of practise with.  Is it AI? rotting our brains and stealing our intelligence - I'm sure that's part of it, I know it hurts us, it definitely doesn't help.  Is it just screens? that blue light drilling into brains, coring out our attention spans. Is it just consumption? consumption, consumption, we're not making new neural pathways for all this, are we going so quickly, too fast that evolution is still racing to catch up? so the old stuff just falls out instead, because it's all getting crammed in the wrong way. Forgetful me. Is it just my problem or is it an epidemic silently spreading and we'll never know or never believe? As an infant, I had routine. I didn't need to remember things, I moved on instinct. Bed time at the same time every day. Morning routine, school routine, afternoon routine, evening rou...

  i look great today, so i want to be seen i feel bad that i feel bad because i look great now i dont leave the house without looking great so i look great every day because i want to leave my bar for presentable is a high bar, i dont know why, i dont think it was  me that started this everyday to exist i must reach the high bar the others may not care its not for them  its inside of me i felt bad this afternoon and i had my shoes on  shoes on i feel ready today the shoes couldn't hold onto the wind that knocked out of me i left the house to buy turmeric  im so happy to succeed accidentallly i pulled on a great look i wouldnt have worn all of this otherwise and  didnt really care what i was dressing for the stakes were low and they were not high so i flourish and prosper and bloom  its my missed opportunity that i will not be seen by my friends  i feel bad that i feel bad in a good look for this feeling  i pull together well  it could ha...

12/04/2026: This is a new craft. I do have a list of Work In Progresses (WIPs) that I'm working through that this isn't on, but that's OK because it's from another list of mine: Things I Must Try Before Leaving this Sunny Place.  I have some experience with cyanotypes which are these blue (cyan) prints made with the sun.  Mix reactive chemicals in the dark then paint your paper or fabric with the mixture.  Place anything you like on top and the inverse you leave behind will react with the sun and darken.  Leave in the sun or under a UV light and the print will work it's magic.   From what I know about turmeric prints, is that it works much the same, instead of chemicals A and B needed for cyanotypes, turmeric prints only want you to mix turmeric with rubbing alcohol then after you've made your print, to wash it with water and cornstarch (to slow the reaction so your print can last after you've finished).  That's the shopping list, then: turmeric (kinda...

I'm starting to leave my earphones behind. It's just that extra little push - that hurts later, in the moment that I reach for them - that reminds me why I left them behind and reminds me of my goal again. I could watch TV without sound, but it's not what I want. Now there's less joy in the naughty habit, and the reminder that comes with it persuades me to be good. Just like that, I'm on track. ---- Saturday's been and gone and I didn't do my wand craft. I guess that means that it just wasn't important enough for me to prioritise. In my defense, on Saturday I was unavoidably busy in a way that left no time for extra crafts (and I wouldn't have had it any other way), but I did have time throughout the week and I just didn't turn to the project. I used to think that I was a slow eater. After twenty minutes of wolfing down my food, I'd get slow and push food around the plate with a fork and take hours to finish the rest. It only took me years la...

Watching TV is both a treat and a segue. My goal has been to remove myself from short form content - where I lost hours and never felt settled - to longer form content.  It is working, I am progressing, I am successful.  So far, I am slashing the time spent on my short form platforms and it feels much better. It feels great, I feel far more settled, it is so good that I often forget how it was before. I said that it is a mistake to move too fast. How I feel now, is that I don't like watching this much TV. In the past, I've restricted myself here and by accident found my way back to short form content. I am trying to be careful here. I long for TV. I hate it in several ways but I long all the same.  I feel glued to my TV. I put a restriction on my phone that only an hour of watching is permitted at a time and I have only 5 sessions available daily, and this works so well for most of my apps, but I'm noticing that I don't want to waste the time I have, so I am far more fo...